Being a father has been both very rewarding and extremely challenging, thus providing itself with the all important balance that we need in life. I must say personally, I am happy that I waited until later in life to have kids as I feel I am better equipped to give them all of me. I cant say that I was prepared to do that when I was in my 20's and for those who know me, you would likely agree.
Today is March 7th and I sit home from work with a nasty cold(no voice) and pink eye, all gifts given to me (and Pao) by our two boys. But they give me other gifts too, both in the things that they say(Jake) and do(Zac). I want to use this post as a way to memorize some of my favorites.
Zac loves sports. He loves to play with his basketball and football and he especially loves it when that includes me. A few weeks back, we went out to a field and spent a few hours throwing and kicking. Once we were done, we began to walk home and he grabbed my hand really tight as if to say, "I have a blast" and I remember the hug I got from him when we went home. It wasn't like his usual hugs..but every so often he really holds on to want to extend the embrace. Boy, it touched me. The last time I felt that from him was when he came back from Colombia when I didn't see them for 2 months- Zac wouldn't let go of me for 15 minutes!
Zac is just beginning to talk and we can have simple conversations. One thing he does do a lot of is sing. When he does that, it really makes me feel good as I remember a few years back, I read that when I child sings, it says that they are both happy and secure and that they know that they are loved.
Jake, in contrast to Zac, talks and boy, does he ever! Both Spanish and English thanks to my wife. As I listen to the things he says, it is amazing how much he picks up. Here are a few of my favorite Jakisms...
One day, sitting with both Jake and Zac on the couch
Jake: Daddy, I love it when you hold me
Me: Jake, I did too.
Jake: When I am big and you are small like me, I am going to hold you just like this
Me: I can't wait
My favorite, thus far, happened a few weekends ago and literally came out of nowhere. We were engaged in our usual nightly routine and I was sitting on the floor, helping him put his PJ's on when he said something that nearly brought me to tears.
He looked at me and told me "Daddy, I love my life"
Wow. I still think about what that meant and the feeling I had when I heard it. That very simple statement says so much and I am still digesting it. I find myself watching him and trying to reason to myself, was it just a feeling he had at that moment, but since then, I have come to realize that he is absolutely content in his own world. That world built on a solid foundation of love, some discipline and lots of family fun time. And I think it was touched me so, because as a parent, you don't know if you are 'doing it right'. Parenting does not come with a 'how to' guide. The only thing you have to go by are your experiences, your principals and your beliefs.
Years from now, Jake will not remember he said that to me. I tell you one thing for sure.. Jake, I will never forget it.
